Humour, Poetry, writing

Sweet.

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

Of course, this analysis is notoriously unreliable; I’ve gotten H. P. Lovecraft, Dan Brown, and and James Joyce before, depending on what pieces I put in. However, I just got Shakespeare twice in a row! Surely I must be improving, says I, with tongue firmly in cheek.
The first piece I put in was a fragment of a story which will not be seeing the light of day any time soon, but I’ll vouchsafe the first couple stanzas of the second piece (a poem I wrote a few months ago). I suspect that the faintly archaic language, thee’s and thou’s, and the “alas” near the end of the poem were what did me in.

The sound of silk, a rustling tread,
The rising moon shone golden-red,
The darkness shivered round the tree,

While wind blew in the lea.

“O Lady, Lady,” called the thrush,
His bright voice broke the weary hush,
“O why do you walk alone at dusk,
When wind blows sweet the musk?”

“O Lady, Lady,” sang the lark,
His song made bright and warm the dark,
“O why do you walk alone at night,
As wind blows like a wight?”
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Books, Humour, rant, school

Lessons from my Math Book — A Continuing Series

It’s not what you think. This is the important stuff you can find in Saxon’s math books. I’ll be posting periodically with new gems from Advanced Math, Second Edition.

To begin, here is an excellent example.
“Some people take the first letters of the words sine, opposite, hypotenuse; cosine, adjacent, hypotenuse; and tangent, opposite, adjacent to form the expression

Soh      Cah       Toa

and say that it sounds like an American Indian phrase.”

I don’t know where to begin here. This is rich, rich stuff. First take the opening – “Some people”. Who? Are they referring to themselves or others? If others, why is it in here? If themselves, why are they talking in the third person? I’ll try to explain this in a minute. Next, let’s take “soh cah toa”. Does that really sound like an American Indian phrase? Sort of? But… why is that relevant? Who cares? Does that make it easier to remember? “Um… I can’t remember if “sine” means opposite over hypotenuse or opposite over adjacent. But there was this pneumonic… agh, what was it? Oh yeah! It sounded American Indian! It was Soh Cah Toa!”

Maybe?

To continue with the odd use of the third person – my theory is that they’re afraid some hyper-politically-correct person will, for some reason, take offense at saying it sounds like an American Indian phrase, for whatever reason hyper-politically-correct people get offended (that is, for any reason). Thus they have a defense ready mad, and all they need do is say smugly “Hey, we didn’t say that. Some people said that, and we were just quoting them. You can’t get on our backs about that!”

Some more that I just got by opening the book to a random spot:

“The tugboat Gertrude…” Tugboat Gertrude? Does that have an amusing sound to anyone else?

“Wilde Oscar worked frantically for _ hours… Calm Sally began to help…” Wilde Oscar?

I remember a particularly excellent example in my Algebra II book, which, however, is on loan at the moment. It is likely enough that the phrasing will recur in some form in this book, and if I find it I will be sure to relate it to you.

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Humour, school, thirty days, Tolkien

Day 27: A… ???

Is it talking about one of my physical features, or physical features in general? I’ll presume it’s the former. (Though I must admit, I really like beards. That wasn’t creepy or anything, right?) I like having thick hair. It gets weird and frizzy, and it has horrid split ends because I haven’t had a real haircut since last October, and I can just stuff it into a bun clip even though it’s only about 8-8.5 inches past my collar bone. However, it holds curls well and looks nice when thoroughly straightened. I have great affection for my hair in general (though why did my sister get all the natural blond highlights?).

Today I began school. I was really supposed to start preparations for my co-op classes a couple weeks ago, but I’m not very sorry I didn’t, because I enjoyed having those last couple weeks of FREEDOM! I suppose it was imprudent, so I sort of regret it, but it’s kind of a half-hearted regret.

And here’s a special treat for all the rest of us who are beginning school:

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Humour, memories, thirty days

Day 26: A Childhood Memory

I think one of the memories that cracks me up the most was the following:
A number of families were at the park when I was about nine, and my friend M’s older sister and her third cousin pushed me off of the jungle gym or whatever it’s called… and I think I cracked a rib. It certainly knocked the breath out of me, which was rather frightening. I believe that the remainder of that outing was spent sitting in a field making flower chains (after my friend’s mom showed me how). Interesting image, no? I seem to remember that up to a year later that rib still gave me a twinge once in a while.

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Humour, movies, thirty days

Tim Hawkins! And Day 24! And The Dark Knight!

I have just rediscovered Tim Hawkins on YouTube. If you have not heard of him, you have a treat in store for you. He’s a Christian comedian and, I believe, a homeschooler – and I can hardly describe his hilarity. Here is a personal favorite (Hey There Delilah is good too):

One movie no one would expect me to love, if they didn’t generally know that I love it, might be The Dark Knight. Some people seem to get the impression that I only like things that… well, I guess squeaky clean would be a good phrase. I think only one of my friends knows that I used to be a huge fan of hard rock (note the past tense – I don’t listen to it anymore). I have a definite liking for darkness and tragedy which surprises some people. It actually doesn’t make that much sense, if you think about it. No one is surprised when I and people like me love The Lord of the Rings, which is, in many ways, a sad and tragic book.

Now, it is also imbued with the Christian sense that there is a Purpose to things and a meaning behind events – it doesn’t dally with nihilism in the way that you could say The Dark Knight does (I would disagree, but you could make out a case). However, that doesn’t change the fact that it does not have a conventionally happy ending. Tolkien makes it very clear in his letters that Frodo failed. Nor are they terribly shocked when someone says they enjoyed Dante’s Inferno (which, by the way, should never be read without following up with the Purgatorio and the Paradiso), which is about the ultimate tragedy, for heaven’s sakes.

The Dark Knight is, of course, in a different category. It’s less violent than the Inferno, in which one may obtain graphic descriptions of human internal organs pouring out of them, but of course violence in a book is completely different than violence in a movie, and I would say TDK is violent enough to earn a hard PG-13 rating. It’s not graphic and not very bloody, either, but there’s a lot of nasty things that are more implied than seen, not to mention the “pencil trick” and a certain character’s disfigurement. In addition, it takes the Lord’s name in vain and uses other bad language.

However, the greatest distinguishing factor, in my opinion, is the portrayal of the antimorality of the Joker. He isn’t just immoral. He hates morality. He enjoys chaos. He isn’t like most people, committing evil to get some perceived good (whether that be a real good or not). Instead, he sees the chaos and horror as an end in itself. It’s truly disturbing.

More later.

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a confession, Blog, dear readers, Humour, random

I have something to tell you

A confession to make. Maybe you’ve already guessed it. It’s hard to hide.

I am a nerd.

It’s true.

I have been nerdy about the following:

Star Wars
Star Trek (not so much anymore though)
Doctor Who (ditto)
Knitting
The Lord of the Rings
C. S. Lewis
Heck, the Inklings in general!
G K. Chesterton
I’m in training to be a Hayao Miyazaki nerd.
Books in general
Irish music
Fonts (yes, you read that right)
Language
And probably other things.

I have not, however, been a computer nerd. I think those are called geeks. I am not a geek. But then these fine shades of distinction are rather confusing.


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Humour, Music, Parody, Poetry

A Parody Offered for Your Perusal

I bet you can guess which song it is! I did my best to make it singable to the original tune, but you’ll need to ‘tweak’ both the tune and the words (contract “I am” to “I’m” and the like).

I apologize in advance for being linguistically incorrect… I’m quite sure I’ve mixed up all kinds of English, seventeenth century and eighteenth and nineteenth and probably twentieth as well. Also, I don’t know if a lyre was something anyone was likely to have within the past few hundred years, but it rhymed 🙂

My love look’d at me
My face mask’d with smiles
so he doth not see
That which I desire, my plea
Oh that a wedded we should be
I know her passing fair
The lady he speaketh of
Aye hers is everything
That I am doom’d to live without

My love speaks jests to me
I durst laugh, his speech is lovely
My sight is blinded, I cannot see
Anyone, as he is with me
He’s taken o’er with love
He tells me his heart is light
I wonder if he doth know
My thoughts dwell on him each night

Thou’rt the reason for my tearstained lyre
The only object of my single desire
For thou dost I pine, grave and weary
Thou knows why I do

My love pass’d me by
And I, depriv’d of breathing, sigh
Look, there he doth go, in perfection strides
Would that I matched him in his matchless pride
Would that she lov’d him dear
Her soul be shining clear
Behold his glorious eyes
While I am drench’d in sighs!

Thou’rt the reason for my tearstained lyre
The only object of my single desire
For thou dost I pine, grave and weary
Thou knows why I do

And I lonely walk home
Silently snuff out the light
Sit and watch, as the fire doth die
My eyes shall not shut tonight

Thou’rt the reason for my tearstained lyre 
The only object of my single desire
For thou dost I pine, grave and weary
 Thou knows why I do

Oh, the time devoured, but there is too little!
Thou art all my longing, my very soul
My love look’d at me
My face mask’d with smiles so he doth not see

Finis

Highlight the following with your mouse to see, if you can’t figure it out 🙂

Teardrops on My Guitar – Taylor Swift
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